January 22nd, 2016
I was born on Saturday, May 15th, 1965, so as of today I am 50 years and eight months old. That’s quite a bit of time to be walking here on earth; a ‘whole’ half a century, and I consider it a tremendous blessing for which I am eternally grateful to The Most High.
Depending on your view of a fifty year old, I might seem old to some, and still quite young to others. Does it matter what others think of my age? Well, if you read this to the end, you will most definitely have your answer.
Most humans under thirty years old in our culture, seem to regard anyone over thirty-five as ancient. The media also perpetuates these ‘old’ stereotypes, and act as if anyone who is fifty, has one foot over the grave and the other on a banana peel. Nothing, and I mean nothing could be further from the truth. In many cultures, the elderly are held in the highest esteem, and regarded as wise. They are looked up to and revered.
Anyway, to each his/her own. Think what you want. I am not here to convince anyone under thirty to not dread turning fifty. I actually embrace it, cause I know that age is just a number. Really, it is! Be scared of aging if you want, but we all know the alternative. No one wants to die, but no one wants to age. Get a grip…you can’t have it both ways. #Seriously.
I decided to write this for my own amusement. I wanted to place on paper what I have actually learned, so hopefully when I get to be one hundred, I can compare notes. Feel me?
Here goes:
Know Thyself
This right here is extremely critical. You have to not only know who you are, but you also have to love the person you are.
There is only one you, no replicas, just you. It’s your duty to ‘rock’ you and become the best you that you can be. You were created different from everyone else (your twin included) for a reason. No one can fulfill your soul’s purpose but you, so stop trying to fit in and learn to stand out. Be your extraordinary self cause no one else can do this for you. The other guy/gal is already taken, so look inward and love everything about yourself and stop trying to be another. God created your blueprint at conception, what you eventually become is entirely up to you.
Before you can love and accept others; you must first love and accept you. Once that is achieved, there is no limit to what you will be able to accomplish. The joy, self-respect, and self-confidence you will feel will come across in everything that you do. You will be in a happy state, so the only thing you will manifest is more of the things that brings you joy.
Love and accept you, so you will be equipped to love and accept others.
Respect will be inevitable.
Time Goes By Quickly
Does it ever!!! I can vividly remember running to my grandfather one day all excited and screaming: “TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!” He laughed at my enthusiasm and asked, “how old are you today?” To that I yelled, “EIGHT!!!” Yeah…I can even remember the little floral dress I was wearing…my big ole ponytail, and barefooted on the red dirt beside the tank in Jamaica. That was forty-two years ago. Time waits for no one.
It makes no sense putting off anything that you’ve ever dreamed of doing. Time will fly by so swiftly, all the putting off will have you at fifty years old, living in regret before you know it. Just do it. Part of the reason I am so happy and content is, through all the mistakes, or should I say, ‘life lessons’, I can honestly say a procrastinator I wasn’t…a procrastinator I am not.
Looking back through the past few decades I am happy to say I have done most of the things I wanted to do. I have experienced a great deal of what I wanted to experience, and have no regrets. My bucket list still has content so I am not done yet.
Time really waits for no one so just do it!
There will never be a better time than right now…no better day than today.
Don’t Put Off Until Tomorrow What You Can Do Today
This right here is like part two of the above. It’s that procrastination thing again. Procrastinating should be classified as a disease. Everyone think they have all the time in the world: “I will wait until Monday”…”I will wait until the kids are grown”…”I will wait until I lose weight”…”I will wait until I get money”…”I will wait until I find the right man/woman”…”I will wait until I get a job”…blah blah blah. I think you already know there will never be a better time to do anything, than right now!
When you get off that presumptuous (I have time) horse, you will realize that all there is, is now. Who promised you tomorrow? Do not take the present for granted, while waiting for tomorrow. That tomorrow you’ve been waiting for is now today. The present, the gift. Don’t let today become yesterday, while sitting around waiting for tomorrow. Make the best of every moment. If you have to set a date to do it, achieve it, be it, lose it, love it, or leave it, you’re not serious!
Health Is Our Greatest Wealth
It doesn’t matter how wealthy you are, illness doesn’t partial. It truly sucks to not feel well, and I am thankful that at 50, I am not on any medication, nor have I ever been on any. I sympathize with anyone who has a chronic ailment, or anyone experiencing mental illness. I also pray for the loved ones of anyone with an ailment, as it can’t possibly be easy.
I have learned to have great respect for my body. I learned at an early age that this body is a temple, and should be treated as such. The Most High resides there, within all of us, so we must act accordingly. It’s our duty to be mindful of the things we put into our bodies. When we dine, we not only feed our bodies, we also feed our minds so please…be wise!
The Creator provided all the fuel needed to keep our bodies healthy, functioning and strong. Maybe some people should treat their bodies the way they treat their cars. Many use premium petrol in their rides, yet fuel their bodies with junk. I have learned to take really good care of me and mine.
I also learned from a very wise rastaman when I was fifteen, that for the brain to function properly, we have to get the proper nutrients. We need a balanced intake of sodium, sour, sweet and bitter foods. He went on to explain that everyone gets an overdose of sodium and sugar daily; but the wrong types, and very few will ingest anything sour or bitter. He said with that sort of imbalance, we will see an increase in depression, anxiety and even suicidal thoughts. Too much sugar from processed foods is wreaking havoc on society, and the FDA approves most of this junk with a straight face. Take a look at most of these breakfast cereal commercials, any more sugar and it would be Halloween.
The herbs which tastes bitter, were designed by our Creator to purge and cleanse our bloodstream while killing cancerous cells. Have you ever had a cup of Neem or Guinea Hen Weed tea? These two are known cancer cell killers. I drink these as often as is allowed (you SHOULD NOT drink everyday); and I am convinced that the way these two taste, cancer cells didn’t have a chance to be killed by them, they just voluntarily up and ran out of the body at the first sip. #BitterToTheMouth #SweetToTheBelly
Drink and eat of the bitter herbs people, and do not shun the sour. In all things we must have a balance.
“…and they shall eat it with unleavened bread and bitter herbs.” Exodus 12:8
People Will Talk
Ahh yes. This!
We all know someone (or two) who suffers from diarrhea of the mouth. Always in someone else’s business, and always have something to say about things that should be of no concern to them. What you gonna do? Not a thing. Let them talk; they’re going to anyway.
When I was younger, this particular issue would get under my skin. I stayed pissed off and ready to defend every utterance with the “truthful explanation”. Now? I could care less. Let them talk, it gives them something to do.
Nowadays when I come across people like these, I no longer feel anger; I feel pity. How sad and unfulfilled their lives must be, for them to be constantly up in the affairs of others. This is the reason I have learned to not let people’s mouths bother me. It makes me feel more special actually, and why shouldn’t it? Someone (or two), spending precious time sitting on my name like a comfy chair is awesome. People I don’t like, admire, or care about; I don’t think about let alone talk about. So yeah…let them talk!
Energy/Blessing Blockers-Leave It Alone/Let It Go
Remember above when I said we each have to be ourselves and walk in our purpose?
Well, this is sorta the same thing. Those energy and blessing blockers, I feel as if their soul’s purpose on earth is to propel us to walk in ours.
Judas had to betray Jesus; that was his purpose. He probably didn’t even realize it, but it was.
I guess that’s what the Bible is talking about when it reads, “in everything give thanks”, and the famous “love thy neighbor” no matter what, and everyone’s favorite “turn the other cheek”.
Years ago when people would involve my name in their negativity, it would bother me to the point of anger.
Now at this age I realize that with each betrayal I grow. I even benefit from them. Turning lemons into lemonade some might say, but definitely using these lessons as stepping stones. Yes…I consider everything that happens in this life a lesson. I now look at each experience as something I needed to learn.
So I let go. I harbor no ill feelings toward anyone no matter what they did to me or said about me.
Holding onto hate and anger according to the wise Buddha, is like “drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” It kills you slowly, and if you allow that to happen, if you allow hate to consume you, guess who wins?
Let it all go! All the negativity and the negative people in your life. Let them all go. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them, because Christ said to love one another, it’s just that you no longer need your blessings blocked. Harboring negative people will keep your blessings at bay. The Creator knows who is for you and who is against you, so He will never bless you with something you might share with the undeserving. If He is trying to get these persons out of your life, LET HIM! Stop holding on to them. Some folks you have to love from a great distance. If they are hungry and in need, be kind. Just don’t turn your back on them. Remember, they were put here to throw stones for you to use as a ladder. Make that climb!
With love!
Everyone Is Not Going To Like You
…and that’s quite alright. Please learn to be okay with it.
Meditation Is Vital
There are many people in the world for whatever reason, who don’t like to be by themselves. I for one look forward to alone time. Some call it ‘me’ time, and I cherish these moments.
I use this time to meditate…to reevaluate…and to simply BE!
With the many distractions nowadays, it’s imperative (and healthy) to make time to be still. The Bible says God rested on the 7th day, so yeah.
Make time each day or week to lay back, close your eyes, empty your minds and see what answers come your way. There is healing power in silence, so turn off and shut down. Once I learned (and accepted) a few years ago that there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing nothing at times, I have been more calm, relaxed, and definitely happier. Try it! You might just surprise yourself.
Pray/Have Faith/Be Thankful
“Ask and ye shall receive; seek and ye shall find; knock and it shall be opened unto you!” Matthew 7:7
I was raised by a grandmother who prayed without ceasing. I watched her live by faith and you know what, it worked. I am a praying woman, and I try to make an effort to be thankful in all situations.
I pray when I rise, and give thanks that I was one of the many chosen to wake up. How I figure it is like this; since The Most High allowed me to wake up, He must have a purpose for me as He obviously didn’t call me Home for a reason. I am here, so I know He will provide for me. All I have to do is remember to live this day to the fullest, without burdening myself with “what ifs”.
It’s like having a job and your boss sends you on a business trip. No one worries about that because there has to be an expense account to cover this trip. If your company wants you to go on the road, they are responsible for your travel, meals, and accommodations. See there, worry free.
This is the same rule I apply to my life. When I open my eyes in the morning, I fret not, because He opened them; not me! Now since He placed me here for a purpose, I figure my purpose must not be complete or I would have been taken away. Why should I worry about what I will eat, wear, or where I will reside? The Boss of all bosses woke me up and kept me here so I will lean solely on Him.
Faith!
There is nothing we can do by ourselves so please, we all need to stop tripping. It doesn’t matter to me who is religious or who is not religious…this isn’t about religion. This right here is just basic common sense. Can none of us make our eyes blink, our pinky fingers move, put one foot in front of the other, or sing a single note unless our Creator does it for us. We need to get over ourselves and see the bigger picture.
I pray often, and I have faith. Simple.
I know there is something grand going on in the Universe and I have a right to be here. I will never allow myself to be less than the grand human I was designed to be. I have faith that all my needs will be met, and that once I pray and walk by faith all will be well. Is it easy to have faith in something and someone you cannot see? Of course it isn’t! This is the definition of faith. After all, if we can already see what we hope for, we wouldn’t need to have faith now would we?
In my first fifty years a lot happened that I classified as ‘bad’. Now that I am a little bit more advanced in my thinking, I realize what the verse in 1 Thessolonians 5 meant when it states, “In everything give thanks.”
I used to wonder how I was expected to be thankful for the bad, unpleasant and painful things that happened in my life, but now I totally understand. It’s a matter of perception. Every time something ‘bad’ happens to me, I try to see the good; the lesson. Why did this happen, what can I learn from it, and how can I prevent it from happening again?
That night in the 80’s when the Delta flight crashed, I remember how upset one woman was that her day was seemingly a day from hell. Her entire schedule was thrown off thus causing her to miss her flight; saving her life. What she thought was a series of ‘bad luck’ was actually a blessing in disguise.
It’s counterproductive to worry about the things we have no power to change. Change what you can and let the things you cannot change be. Everything serves a purpose.
Give thanks and you will be rewarded with more things and circumstances to be thankful for. It’s a win win situation. What’s the alternative? bitterness and complaining? No thank you!
Miracles Happen
They really do!
Believe/Think Positive
Believing and having faith go hand in hand. Nothing will manifest unless you truly believe it will. Good or bad, you will bring about exactly what you believe in. So stop sabotaging yourself with your mind and negative thoughts. Do you really know how powerful you are?
It takes the same amount of energy to think positive as it does to think negative, so choose wisely.
Rest
I mentioned above that God rested on the 7th day. Did the All Mighty Creator of the Universe get tired? I don’t think so. I think this was an example for us. We need to rest people. There is no reason to take better care of our vehicles than we do ourselves. Your body is capable of healing itself so be good to yours. Eat right, think right and rest. Rejuvenate from inside out. All the beauty creams and quick fixes can do nothing from the outside, unless you take care of you from the inside.
Turn off your cell phones, computers, televisions, radios and your minds and rest. This is of the utmost important. I turn my cell phone to silent every night before hopping in bed. I hate to say it but if someone has an emergency and is trying to reach me, they will just have to settle for 911 until I open my eyes. You must completely disconnect in order to reconnect.
Rest!
Learn To Be Alone
This need for constant companionship is getting a lot of folks in trouble and causing unnecessary stress. As soon as one relationship ends some plunge head first into another because they hate to be alone. Some will also stay in negative unproductive relationships because they do not want to be alone. And even single persons will yap all day and night on the phone until they fall asleep because being by them self with their own thoughts is a scary place. Wow!
That’s one of the biggest problems with society. All these ‘lonely’ people who are always in a crowd. What’s wrong with taking some time to be alone and find out what’s special about you? If you are constantly distracted you will never really get to know the beautiful person you are on the inside. How do I know you are beautiful? Simple, God didn’t and couldn’t create anything ugly. If you are ugly, it wasn’t His doing.
Being alone at times is safe and necessary. People carry energies that often times can bring you down, and I mean way down. Who are you sharing your space with? Take some time for you and enjoy your own company. Appreciate yourself and your contribution to the planet. I know I love me some alone time. Try it, you might like it.
Sowing and Reaping
I remember a friend of mine once planted a Julie mango seed, and was totally upset when years later he reaped a crop of stringy common mangoes.
Lol. I had to throw that in there but in real life matters, you reap what you sow.
You can’t go around doing bad things to others; saying negative things about others and not expect it to come back to you. You might think when you speak ill of others that’s what you will reap, and that in itself might be no big thing to you but nah…that ain’t it. You won’t get away that easily. That’s not how Karma and this reaping thing works.
Bad is bad. Wrong is wrong. Sin is sin.
If you do something bad to someone, something bad will happen to you. Eventually. Is that God paying you back? Stop blaming God cause it’s not Him. It’s you paying you back. You planted an evil seed so please expect to reap an evil fruit. Because you hit someone doesn’t mean you will get hit, but you will get something that will hurt you as much as the person you hit hurt when you hit them. Get it?
Is there a deadline to this reaping what you sow thing? Nope…….not at all. If you don’t get paid back, your children will; but one way or another that seed you planted will reach harvest state. You might as well just do good so you can reap good!
“Do unto others as you would have them do to you” is another verse in the Bible I like. Jesus Christ said that. Oh yeah…let me big up the Risen Christ right here. I will NEVER deny my love for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to any one. I love Jesus Christ and accept Him as my Savior. Cut and clear. No apology!
Where was I? Oh yeah…….the karma do unto others bit. It’s simple people….just do good and good will follow you and yours.
If you don’t want it, don’t give it?
If someone hurt you, as whimpy as it might make you feel, you must turn the other cheek. Let the offense go…forgive and give it and leave it to God. If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn’t have wasted so much time trying to defend myself and seeking revenge. What a waste! When I did all that I still had to face my maker and pay that price. God still loves the people who offends us, so let Him deal with them and their wrongs. Man that was a hard pill to swallow.
I have four children (and now a grandchild yeahh me), and when one hit the other, I tell them to stop it and reprimand the one who did the hitting. If the one who got hit hit back, then they both got dealt with. It’s the same way God deals with us. We are all his children and He doesn’t want to see us showing anything but love to one another. He will not tolerate the ‘hitting back!”
He wants us to forgive, as forgiveness has so many benefits. More so for the person doing the forgiving, than the person we are forgiving. Besides, who are we to harbor hate and malice? None of us are perfect and we have all offended The Most High. What if He decided to have a hard heart and not forgive or love us. Can you even allow yourself to think on that for a second?
So I say all that to say this: to the people out there who are having a field day with my name and spreading rumors and blatant lies, please believe you are being ignored to my benefit. Carry on!
Go After Yours
I learned to go after mine no matter how ‘out there’ my goals may seem. Whether others ‘get it’ or not is no concern of mine; I will go after anything I feel passionate about. One life to live and I am going to live it and utilize the gifts bestowed on me by my Creator.
Never doubt yourself and never conform.
Let people wag their tongues and talk all they want; do not concern yourself with that. Go get what you’re after; only you know what that is. If the road was smooth it would be full so walk firmly.
I was ironing today and realized that my blouse looked so beautiful after heat was applied and I smoothed out the creases. So never mind a little heat, welcome it and stand firm. Popular opinion is overrated anyway.
Be Child Like
You have to retain your childlike qualities if you are to be truly happy.
A child trusts, have faith; and can play happily for hours with a leaf. We must learn to not complicate our lives with all the things that they told us that adults MUST do.
I love to giggle, watch cartoons, color, draw, play games (indoors & outdoors), run barefoot, walk in the rain and dance my behind off. I don’t care what kinda music it is; turn it on and I am dancing.
Some call fifty old, and others say things like: “you don’t look fifty!” Well, just like I ask the question many times when told I don’t ‘look Jamaican’. “what does a Jamaican look like?”, I ask these people often, “what is a fifty year old supposed to look like!”
I will not let anyone fling me in a box or limit me at anytime.
I am fifty, fabulous and fit. I am blessed and will always retain my pure childish heart. I am trusting (yet not naive), fun, flexible and forgiving. If this makes me childish, I have achieved something that I am proud of.
Love Yourself/Others
I love myself and others because to hate another would be hating God, thus hating myself. My favorite rocker Lenny Kravitz has a line in one of his songs which says: “I am you, you are me. Why’s that such a mystery?”
It’s a mystery because people keep separating themselves from each other, thus separating themselves from God. We are all one and we are all connected. So please get over this “I” this and “I” that and adopt a “we” and “us” mentality. Sounds corny? Well……..try to do it alone and see how far you go.
Love yourself first people…if you can’t love yourself, it will be virtually impossible to love anyone else. As cliche as it may sound, it really does start with you (me).
If you walk around spewing hate everyday and lamenting on how many people you hate I will have to watch you. You might be suicidal. For anyone to hate another, they first have to hate them self. Love is pure and love is God. Again, if you can’t love you, you will never be able to love another. Soooo, if you keep talking about the people you hate, deep down you hate yourself. You follow?
Friendship
You cannot expect to have a friend if you don’t know how to be a friend. I learned nothing new in this department. I still have lifelong friendships and the message is the same…you get what you give. Be a friend and you will have a friend.
Not everyone is your friend or was born to be your friend. Seasons run it’s course, so learn the difference between an associate, a teacher & a friend. Grasp each lesson taught by everyone who enters your life and learn to let go and move on.
Unconditional Love
If you’re not willing to let someone go who wants to be with another, your ‘love’ is conditional.
If you can’t admit that the object of your affection would be happier someplace else and with someone else, your love has conditions.
Love freely and honestly. Because you love someone doesn’t mean you get to hog tie them to your person. The saying holds true: “If you love someone, set them free”. Love is not bondage.
If it hurts, it’s not love. Love does not, will never and has never caused pain.
Travel
You don’t have to be rich to get out there and see someplace new; meet new people, do new things. There is a great big world out there. Get rid of that narrow little box you’ve been sitting in all your life and have a new experience. It might remove ignorance and make you a bit more tolerant of all things different.
Closed minds should also have closed mouths.
Legalize It
In closing I had to add this:
I have learned, seen and come to realize now more than ever that, if you want to heal the nation and eliminate poverty in places such as my homeland Jamaica, unnu haffi legalize the herb!!!!
So those are some of the lessons it took me fifty years to learn and appreciate. How about you?
We all learn at our own pace so don’t judge me!
Done talk!
God Bless!
(I first did this article for Boomshots.com. I decided to publish it here on my blog)
Anti-Social Media
Before going to bed last night, I picked up my phone and logged out of Facebook. I felt this desperate need to disconnect and exhale.
I vividly recall back in the days if we wanted to connect with persons in different countries, we had to find a pen pal and write a letter. Now all it takes is “add friend” on one of these social media sites and you are instantly connected. Social media as with everything in life has it’s up side and it’s down side. Everyone having access to the internet at first was okay, because in order to keep in touch and log on, you had to do it from a computer. That computer oftentimes was at home, and in order to post you had to be home.
We owned cellular phones that were only able to act like, well – phones. We would send and receive calls with an occasional text message here and there. As time progressed and technology became more advanced, we saw the birth of the smart phone, which as we all know in many instances seem much smarter than their owners. As the years progressed, we witnessed enormous advancements in technology, and with the mere touch of a button we were able to access the internet at anytime – from anywhere.
What has me puzzled is, now that we have all this technology to keep us connected, why are we so disconnected from each another? Why do we ridicule, judge, criticize, and hate each other so much? Is it too much accessibility and too much personal information out there on social media users? Do users put too much about themselves on the net making themselves targets-preys for other users?
I know you’ve all noticed that no one communicates the old fashioned way anymore. Phone calls have been replaced by text and WhatsApp messages, real smiles replaced by emojis and personal invites by evites. Everyone with a Facebook page is a superstar, and the selfies and constant video clips of them doing everything from using the bathroom to lying in a hospital bed is public info. Nothing is sacred anymore, and nothing is private. TMI all across the net all day everyday. Folks now live for “Likes”, “Shares”, and “Comments!” Some females even experience depression if their “selfie” with their new hairstyle was unable to rack up 300 or more “likes”.
Rumors are started, built and carried away on social media and very few read anything with comprehension. They hit the “share” button on everything scandalous and demeaning, and look for every opportunity to be the owner of the page with the most hype. Some family members with the same address, would rather discuss issues on their timeline as opposed to face to face.
Folks are walking the streets and bumping into each other because of their inability to disconnect from social media. Cars have mowed down pedestrians on crosswalks who had their eyes glued to their phone screens and ear buds jammed in their ears. Even at the dinner table children can be seen with their phones next to their forks, and ears well plugged listening to the latest musical sensation.
It’s most annoying to see friends and family out to dinner, and the source of their amusement is not present company, or the entree…it’s whatever’s got them all looking down at their phones. Who posted what? Who said what about whom? And the photos…yes, the photos. We can’t forget those.
So yeah, I had to log out of Facebook on my phone as I felt as if I was being held hostage. The constant pinging from the notifications became most annoying, and I had no will-power to not look to see who was contacting me. I feel so free and will log in when next I feel like it. I don’t know when that will be, but it feels good to escape the negative energy that’s rampant on these sites.
I am thankful that technology has made things so much easier for us. I can book an airline ticket with ease, shop without a sales associate pretending not to be watching if I’m stealing, see my beautiful grand-daughter on face time whenever I feel like it, and send an email instead of joining a line at the post office.
What I would like to see however, is people communicating from the heart again; really loving one another and spending genuine time with each other. We shouldn’t let the negatives of the internet ruin our lives and our relationships. We mustn’t be so quick to run to mischief and believe rumors. With love, compassion and communication…it can work!